Feminism has men playing it safe rather than sorry when it comes to their interactions with women.
The lead up to International Women’s Day has begun, with planned ceremonies and the V-Day Movement (a global activist movement to end violence against women) in full swing. The student group Vaginas Against Violence just wrapped up their rendition of the popular play The Vagina Monologues in support of the V-Day Movement and Carleton University has decided to support the new Ontario Coalition of Rape Crisis Centres (OCRCC) campaign against sexual harassment.
The OCRCC’s new campaign is asking the question of where do you “draw the line” on harassment. One of their posters at Carleton provides the scenario where you overhear your boss compliment a lady coworker on her legs. Then it asks, do you do something about that or not? While, this poster is addressing the serious issue of people abusing their power, I couldn’t help but also wonder: “What if the lady coworker liked the compliment?”
The women’s movement has made immense strides towards promoting equality, solving sexism and preventing sexual assault. However, the continual social emphasis on respecting women has also left many men with the mindset of playing it safe rather than sorry when it comes to their interactions with women.
Many men agree with and support the women’s rights movement. However, since many of the issues are so sensitive. The “Draw the Line” campaign, for example, suggests even a joke or comment can be promoting sexual violence— men are unsure at times of what would be considered offensive behavior or what would be considered “normal” behavior when interacting with women.
For example, before it was quite normal for a man when he found a woman attractive, to approach her, offer a compliment and perhaps try to engage in a flirtatious conversation with her in the hopes of getting her phone number for a future date. Today that man would be considered a creep who was stalking a woman and then verbally sexual harassed her. Or at least that is how a lot a men today believe women would perceive such an advance.
So instead many men today will avoid the situation entirely. They may miss out meeting the woman of their interest, but at least they will not offend her. Or men may engage with the woman but with a safe form of communication like Facebook. Either way, this safe rather than sorry approach is an unfortunate consequence for men since it further discourages meaningful relationships between them and women.
Women too are left wondering where all the good men have gone, or why they have trouble meeting them. Well, that may be because many of the good guys are either avoiding or concealing their true feelings from the women of their interest since they fear offending them. Therefore, while society keeps emphatically waving the women’s movement flag, many men will support it but from a distance.
Marc Yegani,
third-year civil engineering
