A man walks into a bathroom and wants to use the urinal that will give him the most privacy. Which should he choose? Where is he most likely to pee without someone right beside him?  A Carleton professor conducted an academic study to find out.

The study, entitled “The Urinal Problem,” received funding from both the Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council of Canada and the Mathematics of Information Technology and Complex systems.

After 11 pages of hypothetical math, computer science professor Evangelos Kranakis came to the conclusion that in order to maximize privacy, men should pick the urinal farthest from the door if it is available and if the one next to it is unoccupied.

The math used in the study is not backed up with any other data. Kranakis and his co-author, American mathematics professor Danny Krizanc, rely on assumptions more than once in the paper, even saying at one point that men, “being naturally lazy,” will always choose the first private spot available.

Not only would many people disagree with this statement, but relying on any personal assumption at all defeats the purpose of doing an academic study. If Kranakis and Krizanc wanted to bring legitimacy to a humorous topic, they should have backed up their claims with more research.

Carleton’s reputation depends partially on the research our professors put out. It’s great that the school received funding for such an unusual idea, but if we want to continue to, we need to offer something more in return than incomplete research and the most obvious findings ever.