It’s that time of year.
Temperatures are dropping, exams are creeping closer by the day and Mariah Carey is slowly defrosting her yearly chart-topper ripe to torment retail workers for a month straight.
Some of us are bracing for a marathon of eggnog consumption and tree decorating, as some families sit down and fiercely debate if Die Hard is a Christmas movie (it’s not).
Call me the Grinch, but I’ve never been one for holiday music. There’s only so many times I can hear Justin Bieber’s “Mistletoe” before I hit my limit and wish to cancel Christmas.
If you’re like me and can’t stand another year of “White Christmas” on loop, fear not! Here’s a list of the top five least annoying holiday songs to spice up your winter break.
5. “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” by Elmo & Patsy
Nothing says Christmas like a corpse!
This made the list because it always felt less played than other holiday favourites like “Frosty the Snowman,” but still gives me the same kind of nostalgia that more overplayed holiday songs do.
It features our protagonist realizing their grandmother was trampled to death by one of Santa’s reindeers, which doesn’t sound like material for a hit Christmas song — but somehow works with the jolly track and sing-along vibes.
However, it’s on thin ice, which is why it falls last on my list. I think if it was played nearly as much as other Christmas songs, I would not care for it.
4. “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra
By this one, I mean specifically the orchestra’s metal cover.
Something about the way the drums build gets me pumped every time. Maybe it’s because I’ve always had a soft spot for heavier music, and I’d be cold in the ground before I ever put one of Blink-182’s Christmas songs on here.
This song doesn’t have lyrics in it — a pro because it doesn’t get repetitive — but also a con for anyone somehow enticed by lyrics about snowmen and merry gentlemen.
3. “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call” by Bleachers
This is the newest track on the list, but is truly a must-hear. The vocals are quiet and haunting.
To me, it reads as a direct response to “Last Christmas” by Wham! from the perspective of the lover that left. It dives deep into the feelings that come with having to leave someone you love behind. It explores complex feelings of loving a version of someone that no longer exists.
For those looking to break away from the holiday festivities for a couple minutes of silent contemplation, this is the track for you.
2. “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono
While this is a popular one, I think it deserves the hype. I also feel it doesn’t have the same marketability as some of the holiday break-up or love songs, so it’s also not overplayed nearly as much as others.
The message of universality is an important one with lyrics highlighting that holiday spirit belongs to everyone, regardless of class or ethnicity. Lennon’s vocals feel warm and inviting and the sound of the young choir screaming “War is over!” gives me chills every time.
1. “Last Christmas” – Wham!
Surprise!
I know I keep complaining about overplayed Christmas music, and this one is played so much — but I don’t care. This will always be the greatest holiday song to me.
The verses are gutting, invoking heartbreak that you’re fighting your way through. It’s about watching someone walk away from a relationship and move on while you still carry feelings for them.
George Michael’s vocals are full of the yearning that comes with experiencing heartbreak first-hand. It’s an earworm melody for the jaunty, Christmas tune-loving crowd, and a tear-jerking lyrical masterpiece for the rest of us.
Featured graphic by Alisha Velji/the Charlatan
