When you’re sick in bed with the cold, usually all you need is Netflix, juice, and someone to make trips to the pharmacy.
If you’re a cuddly kind of person, you might enjoy spreading your germs all over a person ill-advised enough to stand in arms’ reach of your bed. But when your cuddle-partner is also your sex partner—roles that are often shared—it’s hard to resist not attempting a few home remedies to make you feel better. And if you have a fever, taking your clothes off might just make good sense.
Being sick can definitely kill the mood, especially if you have fluids coming from your body that don’t have anything to do with lubrication or a great orgasm. But when you’re sick for more than a week with an illness that isn’t quick-healing, and there are no excess fluids to get in the way, it doesn’t take much to throw caution and contagion to the wind.
Once I started getting better, I haven’t had the energy to go out very often, but sex is a short-term energy commitment that doesn’t require you to get out of bed.
After two months of having mono and collecting five residual infections, I’ve come up with my own rules for keeping sex healthy and comfortable even when you’re not. Having sex when you’re sick can be a definite “no” for some, but if your illness is long-term, or you’re in the recovery period, there might be no good reason to abstain.
I haven’t taken all of my own advice, but my roommate shouted a few of her own suggestions at me when she heard I was still having sex on my sixth round of antibiotics.
- Honestly assess how you’re feeling. Even if you’re in the mood, ask yourself whether having sex make you feel better or worse.
- Don’t push yourself. Depending on how you feel, your sex drive can be one of the first things to go when you’re sick. If you don’t want to or don’t feel like it, tell your partner.
- If you’re contagious, talk to your partner about it. Make sure they know what they might be getting into and give them the option to say no. If you want to be extra careful, try having sex without kissing.
- Be careful if you’re on medication that could give you a false energy boost. After two days of IV steroids, I was more than ready for some active company on bed rest, but five hours later and I was ready to banish anyone from my room who wasn’t carrying popsicles or painkillers.
- Let your partner know how you’re feeling, and tell them what areas of your body are the most sensitive so they know where to be careful. Make sure beforehand that you’re comfortable enough with your partner to tell them if you start to feel sick during sex, and trust them enough to stop what they’re doing.
- Choose positions that have proven to be the most comfortable for you. Generally, if you’re not on your A-game, now isn’t the best time to try that pretzel move you saw in Cosmo. If you’re feeling nauseous, however, consider positions that will be low impact and allow for you to control the speed, like being on top. If you’re feverish, doggy-style might be your best option for staying cool.
- If any of your symptoms are bothering the areas most-required for sex, it’s almost always better to leave it alone and let it heal. Urinary tract infections (UTIs) are often caused by sexual activity. Continuing to have sex can make it worse and irritate it further, especially if you’re using a latex condom. If you’re still in the mood despite a UTI, a yeast infection, or a rash, there’s nothing wrong with a really good make-out session.
