“Been around the world / don’t speak the language / but your booty don’t need explaining.” —Lyrical genius Jason Derulo
As Derulo so eloquently explains in that way-too-catchy song, sex is a universal language. We all have it, want it, and are fascinated by it. It’s a key component of popular culture around the world. Sometimes it seems that we live and breathe sex.
But what does this actually mean? It’s no surprise that a lot of things vary from country to country—healthcare, food, clothing, education, but what about sex? Surely the universal language isn’t a universal constant.
While I can’t say I’ve been figuratively “around the world,” this week I took a look at sex across the globe—what it means, who has it, and the different practises that make it a little more complicated than a lipstick stamp on a passport.
To find out about how other countries are doing the dance with no pants, I looked to the Durex Sex Survey. Although they have an obvious interest in how much sex people are having (and whether they’re doing it with Durex), their survey has been pretty helpful in figuring out what we do and how.
One of the things I was most interested to find out was how happy people around the world are with their sex lives.
One of the most sexually satisfied countries in the Durex survey was Malaysia. Seventy four per cent of people were having sex at least one a week, and all 74 per cent were also satisfied. That’s a lot of sex, a lot of people, and a lot of happiness.
But in the land of pasta and wine, not all was well. Italy, a country renowned for its sex appeal, actually seems to find itself a little lacking. Seventy six per cent of people were having sex every week, but only 36 per cent described themselves as satisfied.
Well, doesn’t that blow—figuratively, of course.
In what I’m sure is surprising to no one, Canada has a completely and utterly average national sex life. Almost 60 per cent are having sex weekly, and just less than half of us are satisfied.
What’s interesting is that the countries with the highest incidences of sex per week don’t seem to be much happier. Eighty seven per cent of people are having sex weekly in Greece, but only 51 per cent are satisfied. More sex is not good sex, it seems.
So we’re having sex, most of us at least once a week.
A question that often occupies trashier media (I’m looking at you, Cosmo) is the numbers game. How many people you’ve had sex with becomes a reflection of who you are. Too many or too few and you’re fucked.
While I completely disregard the validity of your “number” on an individual basis, on an international scale it’s interesting to see where we’re getting our passports stamped the most.
Shocking—women have far fewer sexual partners on average than men, as many as one-third fewer in some countries.
This holds true everywhere but New Zealand, where women have both the most lovers on average of any country surveyed (20) and this number is higher than their male counterparts (17). Work it grrrrrls.
The last dimension of the Durex survey was time. How long are we having sex for? While it sometimes seems like a long time, and is sometimes over far too fast, the answers are pretty run of the mill.
In Canada, the average time to have sex is between 17 and 19 minutes. In countries like Brazil and Mexico, that stretches to more than 21 minutes. In India, it’s a mere 14 minutes on average.
So it really seems that sex isn’t nearly as important as we think it is. We’re having a lot less of it than it seems, and spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about it . . . or is that only me?
According to Confucius, “After people are clothed and fed, they think about sex.”
So true, Confucius. He knew what was up.
