Kit Connor, star of Heartstopper on Netflix, came out as bisexual on Twitter following accusations of “queerbaiting.” He should never have been pressured to come out.
In a tweet, Connor wrote: “back for a minute. i’m bi. congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. i think some of you missed the point of the show. bye.”
People’s sexualities are not the business of their employers or fans. It is wrong to speculate about others’ sexuality or pressure them to come out for any reason. Sexuality is personal and should not require justification or confirmation.
Coming out is often a serious and stressful decision that can result in social isolation, homophobic violence and loss of support from friends or family.
Queerbaiting describes media that attracts and exploits queer audiences without providing meaningful or good queer representation.
As a bisexual person, I understand the lack of representation LGBT+ people experience and the desire for queer actors to play queer roles. But actors like Connor have a right to privacy. They may not be ready or feel safe to come out yet—especially when it could open them up to discrimination or bullying on a massive and public scale.
Applying the term to people like Connor is wrong. The term should only refer to fictional characters. People cannot queerbait. A person perceived as queer does not mean they owe anyone access to their identity.
When it is applied to people, queerbaiting tends to fall into one of two categories: someone either is queerbaiting because they are perceived as a straight cis actor playing an LGBT+ character or because the way they dress or act is perceived as queer.
Connor falls into the first category. Fans assumed he was straight and labelled him a queerbaiter because he plays Nick Nelson, a bisexual character, in Heartstopper.
While on the Reign With Josh Smith podcast, Connor talked about the pressure he and costar Joe Lockle received to label their sexualities.
“We’re still all so young. To start sort of speculating about our sexualities and maybe pressuring us to come out when maybe we’re not ready… For me, I just feel perfectly confident and comfortable with my sexuality. But I don’t feel the need to really, you know—I’m not too big on labels and things like that. I’m not massive about that. I don’t feel like I need to label myself, especially not publicly.”
Other celebrities who are often accused of queerbaiting, such as famous singers Harry Styles and Billie Eilish, fall into the second category. Some people perceive what they wear to be either too masculine or too feminine or their behaviour to be queer in some way.
In a New York Times opinion piece, Anna Marks argues the way Harry Styles acts and dresses, such as pinning a large flower to his lapel and flying pride flags on stage, “makes his identity our business.”
These celebrities are asked numerous times in interviews and on social media about their sexuality. They do not answer, nor should they have to.
Imagine if someone in your school or workplace repeatedly questioned you about your sexuality. Most people consider that to be unacceptable harassment. Why should it be okay to do the same to celebrities like Connor?
Someone’s sexuality is nobody’s business but their own. Fans are welcome to interpret or analyze art through a queer lens, but they have no right to take someone’s art or personal life as so-called “proof” of a queer identity.
The speculation around Connor and other celebrities’ sexualities also tends to involve biphobia. The peak of the queerbaiting accusations for Connor came after paparazzi posted a video of him holding hands with his co-star, Maia Reficco.
That video was taken as proof by many Heartstopper fans that Connor is straight, but who someone is currently dating (or just holding hands with) does not define their identity. Bisexual people in straight relationships are still bisexual.
It is a cruel and unrealistic expectation to force people to disclose their sexuality. This also applies to actors like Connor playing queer characters.
Moving forward, we should focus on the quality of the media we enjoy rather than speculating about the personal lives of the celebrities involved. Criticizing queerbaiting is an important step to making media more inclusive, but it should never be applied to real people.
[Photo by Spencer Colby]
