I’m guessing many parents breathed a sigh of relief when the Ontario government released its completely overhauled sexual education curriculum. Finally, we have moved into the present, agreeing to address the often murky but oh-so-relevant topics of gender identity, homosexual relationships, consent, and sexting, among other more traditional health curricula in our schools.
While parents can take comfort in the fact their children are being taught about the reality of modern relationships and sexual health, they have to remain conscious of the critical role they continue to play in their children’s sexual education.
Teachers will be doing a lot of the heavy lifting. Beginning in the primary grades, students will receive the facts about sexuality in a straightforward and honest manner, starting with the basics of anatomy and healthy relationships. This will increase in depth as they mature and move into higher grades.
This does not mean parents get to avoid the conversations about sex that can make even the most liberal families cringe. It’s understandable—trying to engage your child in a discussion about masturbation or sexually transmitted diseases can be uncomfortable for all parties involved.
I am not a parent, and as such I do not claim to have any first-hand understanding of parenting. But I can imagine the temptation to avoid the awkward sex talk which undoubtedly exists for parents. I, as a young person, dreaded being on the receiving end of those conversations. Particularly now that teachers have the responsibility to give all students a comprehensive and honest sexual education, I can imagine the temptation is even stronger for parents to leave this education to the schools their children attend. And that worries me.
Sex, and everything that surrounds it, is far from being black-and-white.
While teachers have agreed to step up, their job is to provide the facts.
Parents have the responsibility to guide their children through the often-confusing information in a more personal way.
The classroom, though a safe environment in most cases, is not always the place young people feel comfortable voicing questions they might consider embarrassing.
At home, parents can provide a confidential source of information their children can question without fear of being teased by their peers.
This means that adults must educate themselves alongside their children.
The world, particularly that to which adolescents are exposed, looks completely different today than it did a generation ago. Cell phone use is standard, making sexting a temptation that didn’t exist for our parents. Porn is widely available online. Questions of gender and sexual identity have exploded into the societal conversation. For many adults, what kids are encountering—from Tinder to gender-neutral bathrooms—is foreign territory.
Parents must reform their own sexual education.
The Ontario Ministry of Education has posted several guides and fact sheets online that explain to parents what the new health curriculum will include, and how they can help their children understand and practice what they learn in school.
Appropriate but candid conversations about sexuality should begin early in families. By creating this foundation of openness and trust, children will continue to communicate with their parents as they grow and experience sexuality in more complex ways.
