Last week, Jian Ghomeshi was acquitted on charges of sexual assault and choking.
In the wake of anger and disappointment following the verdict, now is the time for men to embrace feminism—to be allies in the ongoing battles for equality and to aid in changing a system that hurts everyone.
From a very young age, we are told a dangerous story about what it means to be a man.
Judith Lorber, a retired professor from City University of New York theorizes that sports play a big role in shaping this story. This is only one factor, but it illustrates some of the problems.
Through sports, men are taught winning is the most important thing, and they can achieve it through aggression. Domination through force is a winning strategy, injury is strategically permissible, and sacrificing your body for the winning play is heroic. The heroes are promised rewards in the form of adoration, respect, and a woman who will love them for their heroism. If this sounds ridiculous, think of how many TV shows and movies reinforce this storyline. Young men are taught to idolize these characters and emulate their behaviour.
This might be fine if it never left the sports field, but Lorber goes on to show how these exact same behaviours are reinforced in the professional world as they play out economically and politically.
The danger is when men are valued in comparison to this ideal and are reduced to things such as their earning potential, or their ability to dominate others. This is objectifying and wrong, and it only perpetuates the system that created Ghomeshi.
Without feminism, men are at risk of falling prey to this fairytale. Those who fail the criteria of this warped masculinity too often become the disenchanted angry male we see and hear so much from, especially on the internet. They believe it’s their right for women to adore them as a hero. On the other, more terrifying hand, they can become the Jian Ghomeshis of the world.
Either way, everybody loses.
How many other stories have you read about the ideal men of this narrative? The man who’s adored by women and is rich and powerful? How many times do the allegations of abuse, of serial rape, and violence need to surface, stemming from men who believe these things are owed to them, and they must use force to achieve them when these things do not come to them automatically?
We must dismantle the lie we tell young men about their self-worth. We must all be on the same side if things are going to change for the better.
To the men who are on the fence about feminism—it’s up to you to decide what you’re worth to the world, and find self-worth as a feminist who doesn’t view women as prizes, but as heroes in themselves.
