The Partisan

Environmental science students instantly cured of depression after groundhogs replace campus therapy dogs

Disclaimer: This article is published under the Charlatan’s satire section, the Partisan. All quotes and names have been fabricated. Climate change-induced depression reported in environmental...

Top 10 reasons not to read the Iron Times

The Iron Times is stupid. Don’t read it. Here’s why: Purple is their favourite colour. Engonears can’t spell. It’s a cult. ...

AI doctors by WebMD causing harm to Ottawa citizens

Disclaimer: This article is published under the Charlatan’s satire section, the Partisan. All quotes and names have been fabricated. Carleton student Mike Idney filed a...

‘We have feelings too’: Carleton’s building support group consoles pain from student hate

Disclaimer: This article is published under the Charlatan’s satire section, the Partisan. All quotes and names have been fabricated. From Loeb to Tory, Carleton’s buildings are...

Ode to a red-eared slider

There once was a green green turtle He didn’t know how to play Wordle He made out with another And now she’s a mother “Ahh Ahh” that is...
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