Missing out is an understatement.
COVID-19 has made an impact like no other. For some, it impacted finances, education, friendships or family interaction. For me, it impacted my ability to play the game I love and live for. Hockey was stripped from me, along with thousands across the world, in a matter of seconds.
In a time frame akin to that of the click of a button, the sport I had been playing since I was five years old was gone.
When the initial announcement came regarding a halt to the season, going from playing four to five days a week for the past four years to being off the ice for one week was unusual, but not unmanageable. When that “week” became 13 after the official announcement, I felt nothing short of horrendous.
I remember the exact spot I was sitting in when I got the message from my coach: “We are done. The OWHA just cancelled it all.” I was left in tears—this meant no more games, no more provincial championship, and no chances of saying goodbye to my 16 sisters.
While it was absolutely heart-wrenching, there was nothing we could do. As much as it hurt, we knew it had to be done for our safety and the safety of those around us.
The timing of this decision made it hurt a bit more for me. For the past few months, I suffered from a knee injury that stalled my final season. I suffered a hit in a game which led to a series of misdiagnoses and constantly wondering when my nightmare will be over—a question I continue to ask myself today.
Doctor after doctor said something different was wrong with me. After dozens of
different treatments and countless visits to hospitals and clinics, my return to train date just kept getting farther and farther away.
As the captain of my team, I felt like I was letting my team down for months as I sat on the sidelines. I felt degraded. A player’s worst fear is an injury because they know it takes a completely different, hard-sought strength to fight back to the way your body used to be.
I returned to hockey the second week of March, and played two games—even scoring four points in my first game back. I was ecstatic with my ability to return and my performance. After those two games, I was set to return to play and finish the rest of my season with my girls.
Then COVID-19 changed everything.
As I was a graduating player, I was lucky enough to look forward to continuing my
hockey career on a varsity hockey team after accepting my offer at Carleton as a resuited athlete.
However, for first-year players in particular, the timing of the pandemic could not have been worse. Our high-performance training and on-ice work came to a standstill—something that is crucial for incoming players to capitalize on, yet was incredibly limited this summer.
My confidence dropped even more throughout the months of no hockey as I continued to think about how much I could have improved had I been able to access my normal resources. However, the pandemic did not stop me from training and pushing myself every day. As my training methods became more limited, improving myself became more of a mental game as innovation was key when planning workout routines.
Now? Well, I am currently in my residence at Carleton, leaving mostly to attend practice with my team several times a week. Officially, our season has not been cancelled due to the pandemic. However, us players have mentally prepared ourselves to accept the fact that our season has been postponed until January 2021.
It is a very sad reality. My head buzzes with emotion each day as our time away from the ice occupies my mind. It is not easy having all this excitement as a first-year player ready to grind without being able to play for months.
On the other hand, this uncertainty doesn’t alter the way I train. If anything, I take this extra time I have to work harder so I can ensure I’ll hit the ice ready to go in January.
With COVID-19 and my ongoing knee injury, feeling like I’m ‘missing out’ is an understatement when describing my attitude towards hockey. I, along with thousands of other players around Canada, had our lives taken away from us when COVID-19 hit. Hockey is more than a game. It is a lifestyle, a lifestyle we grow into and through which we build a second family.
Yet, as tough as it was and currently is, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hockey is not going anywhere. The moment of the first puck drop will be my moment of resurgence, and you can bet I am counting the days until it happens.
Featured image by Graham Loughton.
