Images du Futur
Suuns
Distributed by Secretly Canadian
It’s been said that life is too short to listen to shitty music. If you find yourself with a daring, masochistic urge to pump dull, perverse noises through your ear cavities, Montreal-based Suuns will gladly provide that shitty music.
Their latest release, Images Du Futur, sounds about as pretentious as the title. The issue lies not in musical composition, lyrical value, or talent. It’s just that when it’s all pulled together, it’s so fucking unpleasant to ACTUALLY listen to.
Opening track “Power of Ten” sounds like the brainchild of a slightly more social J.P. from Grandma’s Boy. In fact, the whole album sounds like it could have been a pretty hilarious parody created for a spin-off in which J.P., the anti-social, robotic game programmer, takes up music to impress the chubby new intern who craves an artiste’s bony, sweaty and suspiciously silk-smooth touch.
“2020” follows, with throbbing “wub-wubs” and a screeching, thoroughly sickening guitar slink. Vocalist Ben Shemie adds whiney, breathy lines here and there through the noise, and throughout the whole record, sounds little better than a poor man’s Justin Vernon.
The hands-down ringer for worst “thing” (please don’t mistake it for a song) ever to be put to record is the titular “Images Du Futur.” The best way to describe it is minimalist. A less kind way? Three and a half minutes of your precious, bright life spent listening to some jackass holding various synth keys down. That’s LITERALLY all that happens. Good on you, Suuns. I’ve heard my four-year old cousin make noises more appealing when regurgitating his supper for laughs.
These noisemakers are neither competent nor concerned with making anything that resembles an enjoyable listen. The only bearable track, “Holocene City,” comes eight songs too late to redeem the first seven of their insufferable narrow-mindedness.
This album pisses me off. Music lovers far and wide should be pissed off. That a band can put out a record like Images and expect people to spend their time and money listening to it is incomprehensible, and downright arrogant. That a whole team allowed this stain to be put to memory is mind-blowing.
Steer clear. Life is too short to listen to Suuns.
