I’m a 23-year-old Muslim graduate student attending Carleton and working on my master’s degree in English literature. I was born in Ottawa and have lived here my entire life. A couple of months ago, I took a step that made me exceptionally happy: I began wearing the hijab, the Islamic head scarf.
Overall, my experience wearing the hijab in Ottawa has been positive, but there are things that I would like to share as to what it means to be a young woman wearing a head scarf in modern society. A society in which Islamic extremism is a threat that worries us all, no less the Muslim population.
I am fortunate to have the support of my family, friends, and fiancé. My workplace and university have been more than accepting of this change in my appearance. However, I would be lying if I said some things aren’t different.
Something as simple as smiling at someone in public and not receiving a smile back seems to wound me more now than before. I cannot say if this is a result of wearing the hijab, but it happens more now.
Still, this is not what I want to discuss. I want to explain that people who barely know me, such as a cafeteria lady, look at me in dismay and tell me that I looked so much prettier without a head scarf. I have also had customers look at me with surprise at my fluency in English.
While I know their intentions are not malicious, I cannot deny that these occurrences happen because I wear a head scarf.
Perhaps the most startling comments are the ones that concern my own autonomy: “Does your fiancé force you to wear the hijab?” “Did your parents say you have to?” It hurts to think that some people think the scarf I wear on my head somehow indicates that I am not liberated.
No matter how many times I explain it was my choice, the idea that I was forced to wear it is still subliminally present. As an educated woman who considers herself to be quite liberal and a supporter of women’s rights, these claims are not an attack on my hijab nor my religion, but my personality. This is the most wounding aspect.
Recently, there have been attacks on Muslim women in Canada because they wear the hijab. This is an extremely saddening fact. I like to think that in Islam, women are ambassadors for their religion. This is part of the reason why I wear my hijab, which people have mistakenly called a niqab. I am always quick to explain that the niqab is a full facial covering, which is not part of the branch of Islam that I practice.
Questions like this do not bother me. I consider it my duty to constantly enlighten people. I am asked to do so. However, by no means am I willing to assert my autonomy and freedom to people, nor am I content when I have to explain that I am a liberated woman despite my hijab.
I once had a doctor tell me that I am lucky my parents believe a woman is worthy of receiving a higher education. These are attacks on my personal self, which I consider to be worse than the criticisms of the hijab and Islam in general.
Remember this the next time you see a woman wearing a hijab, or any other symbol which gives indication of her religious practices. You don’t know her. You don’t know her personality. Don’t make assumptions. In the cases where you do know her, she is still the same person you knew before. Treat her as such and don’t forget that, because I assure you, she most certainly won’t.
