Disclaimer: This article is published under the Charlatan’s satire section, the Partisan. All quotes and names have been fabricated.
Carleton student Mike Idney filed a medical malpractice suit against WebMD March 28. Idney alleges an artificial intelligence (AI) robot programmed by the popular medical information website provided false and misleading information and conducted an unnecessary surgery, resulting in serious, life-threatening health complications.
WebMD is charged with medical malpractice for diagnosing Idney incorrectly, telling him he had appendicitis when in reality he was experiencing symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). The website’s AI robot also removed one of Idney’s kidneys unnecessarily and without his consent.
“One day, I started feeling extreme abdominal pain in the lower right side of my stomach, followed by massive migraines and chills running throughout my body,” Idney said. “After almost nine hours of pain, I decided to search for answers to my symptoms on WebMD. To my surprise, I read an article that said I was showing symptoms of appendicitis.”
The WebMD article that Idney read concerned him and he decided to take immediate action. He went to the emergency room where an AI surgeon confirmed his suspicion of appendicitis. Idney was immediately admitted into an operating room and was out of surgery in a record-beating 30 minutes.
Idney was discharged from the hospital the next day but felt an even worse pain in his stomach. After three days he visited a different hospital, where doctors examined him to find the AI robot doctor had removed one of Idney’s kidneys, and to also find out that he never had appendicitis.
The Ottawa Civic Hospital still had Idney’s kidney stored in a lab and human surgeons were able to return it to him.
WebMD has since apologized for its ignorance.
“We would like to say sorry for the harm suffered by Mike Idney due to our robot’s ignorant mistake, and we will be conducting more tests to improve our robots’ medical skills. Again, we are very sorry,” the statement read.
This situation has infuriated many people around Ottawa, leading them to protest and demand the immediate removal of these new robot doctors.
Idney has Ottawans on his side. Bistan Dherr, an Ottawa resident, said he feels sorry for Idney.
”I feel bad for the guy, I think he’s totally in the right to be suing those robot doctors and that dumb website,” he said. “I don’t know what a kidney is, but I can’t imagine living without one.”
Featured graphic by Maryam Teima.
