1) Protest for one of the wide ranges of causes on campus complete with heckling signs and catchy chants. The daring protester might chalk his jabbing protests on the pavement.
2) Have a day of European flare with a friend at Rooster’s by having a serious discussion on the state of international affairs. Don’t forget to dress in black, wear a beret and pronounce your consonants Madonna-style.
3) On the other hand, have a hippie-dippy-trippy midnight picnic by gazing at the stars while rambling metaphorical idioms. Wear baggy, peasant-style clothes in earthy tones for an added effect.
4) Stock up on free condoms. They’re available at the health and counselling offices, the Womyn’s Centre and from your residence fellow. A lucrative business venture might be to sell the condoms at a dollar a pop when your friends are in a pickle at a party.
5) Fool around somewhere you might get caught. Suggestions: a public washroom, by the canal, the back of a theatre, a coatroom. The more advanced sexual risk-taker could wear boisterous neon colours to add an extra challenge.
6) Object to a trivial matter in your tutorial by banging your fist on the table in rage. The more adventurous student could object to a topic brought up by a professor in a lecture. Beware: those who have doctorates are fierce debaters and some revel in inflicting public embarrassment.
7) Get kicked out of Ollie’s for pitching a new drink named after yourself — clearly you’d want to be under the influence during the spontaneous “business meeting.”
8) Bond with everyone in residence by catching that unavoidable cold that travels through the vents. For an added thrill, convert the lounge into a sick ward and slurp Mr. Noodles while watching reruns of your favourite sitcoms.
9) Watch every blockbuster post-1980 with the help of DC++, a file-sharing program on campus that is perfect for downloading movies and music for nil cost.
10) Organize a midnight hunt for the tunnel ninja. Pitchforks and torches are strongly not recommended.
11) Make the Dean’s List, get an A+ and graduate. Putting on that robe and proving a sceptical onlooker wrong is worth the hassle. The diploma’s not bad either.