Disclaimer: This article is published under the Charlatan’s satire section, the Partisan. All quotes have been fabricated.
Carleton University’s resident theatre troupe, Sock ‘n’ Buskin, had its virtual cast party shut down Saturday evening.
The party, held over Zoom, celebrated the success of their latest play, Concord Floral. Spread out across Ottawa, noise complaints were filed as each hollering theatre kid woke up their neighbourhood.
Concord Floral was the first positive review the troupe had received in the Charlatan since their production of Angels in America in January 2020.
“We did it,” said actor Forgotmy Line of the theatre troupe, who could be heard shouting through the streets of Ottawa. “It took over a year, but we’ve finally done it.”
The Zoom call finally came to an end at 3 a.m. when authorities cut off internet connections to the entire city.
Ottawa Mayor Jim Watson said the drastic measure was a necessity.
“They were just so damn loud,” Watson said. “It needed to be cut off. I love a good party as much as the next guy—you should’ve seen me at Capital Pride—but I can’t take it anymore. Theatre kids… I tell ya…”
Members of the cast said they didn’t care, they were just happy to celebrate.
“We can celebrate physically-distanced in an abandoned theatre or something, that’s fine,” Sock ‘n’ Buskin actor Aud Ition said. “I’m just thrilled that this is a positive review. Maybe I’ll finally get noticed by a big Hollywood producer.”
Williwas Shookspeared was the director of the troupe’s production of King Lear. He said he was upset by the negative reviews over the past year.
“That play really pushed us in the wrong direction,” he said. “It wasn’t bad. The reviewer, Isabella or something, was just a Shakespeare snob.”
Isabel Harder, the arts editor at the Charlatan, said she was okay with upsetting the cast and crew at Sock ‘n’ Buskin.
“I’d be upset with the reviews, too,” she said. “I’d be upset if I was that bad at directing theatre.”
She added she wasn’t surprised by the party’s disruption.
“I was almost a theatre kid,” she said, cringing. “They can be obnoxious and I get it, a positive review is great news. Really though, they should all get a grip and go watch Hamilton for the 100th time.”
Olivia Joerges, the Charlatan’s editor-in-chief, said she just hoped the drama would stop—pun intended.
“If I have to edit one more review, I think I’ll start pulling my hair out,” she said.
She added with the end of the school year approaching, she was relieved a new editor would be taking over the role.
“Maybe the paper can finally catch a break with Pippa—she’s taking over the section,” she said. “She’ll maybe report on something that actually matters… I hope.”
Shookspeared added he was happy the current arts editor was moving on.
“I think they’ll have a new editor next year… Pippa. With a cool name like that, she’ll have taste for sure,” he said.
Featured image by Spencer Colby.
