It’s 1:00 a.m., and you know you should be sleeping—but you just can’t pry yourself off your phone. The ding as a new text comes in jolts you awake. You’re full of energy, you’re horny and you’re sexting.
Ah, the good old days.
Lately, it feels like every guy I talk to is about as dry as a classic Canadian winter. What happened to the foreplay of foreplay? It seemed like sexting was the new phone sex, but both seem to have mysteriously vanished from our collective sexual repertoire.
As I do whenever I have a hunch, I checked in with my roommates. The feeling seems to be mutual. As soon as the topic came up, one of them launched into a rant which ended with the phrase, “Please don’t tell me you’re going to suck on my nipples until they’re hard. You clearly do not know how nipples work, dude.”
Even if we wanted to get back to our roots, it seems as though the art of sexting has been long forgotten. Now more than ever, we use our phones to connect with our friends, partners, midnight booty calls and significant others. So, why is our phone-sex life falling by the wayside?
My entirely uneducated opinion is the era of character limits has ruined our ability to express full thoughts over text. Social media platforms like Snapchat and Twitter require short soundbites, a form which doesn’t lend itself to passionate expression.
Whatever the problem may be, never fear. I have three ways for you to reconnect with your passionate side, so get your texting fingers ready.
Start off simple
If you’re getting back into sexting after a while, keep it simple. Ask the easy questions first. A great one to start with is: what would you do to me if I were with you right now?
Not only does it get the conversation going, but the focus is on you and your pleasure, something which young women are often too quick to dismiss in sexual relationships.
Confidence is key
If we’re going to bring back sexting, it needs to be different than the bashful sexting of our teen years. We’re grown adult women, and we know what we want. In fact, sexting is an amazing way to express your wants and needs to a partner if you don’t know how to bring it up.
Expressing your fantasies is empowering! Sexting brings your kinks, fantasies and desires into the light, which could otherwise be intimidating. If you let yourself embrace the conversation without shame or embarrassment, you will realize that whatever your secret fantasy is, it’s probably more common than you think.
Be in the moment
Finally, you can’t fully commit to a great sexting session if you’re doing six other things. Stop thinking about your laundry, put down the snack and get into it.
Sexting is a great way to explore and take control of your sexuality. So grab your phone, hit up your boo and let’s bring sexting back.
File photo.
