Virginity—What is it?
The English dictionary defines virginity as “the state of never having had sexual intercourse.” But, what is “sexual intercourse,” really?
Is it plain, old-fashioned, penetrative, heterosexual sex? If so, does this mean that members of the LGBTQ+ community are considered virgins? Is virginity a concept that exclusively targets conventional heterosexual individuals? If so, why is it still such a global concept?
These questions continue to tarnish the so-called “progressive” views within our contemporary moment. Our concepts of virginity, purity, and innocence all echo one thing: stereotypical femininity.
But again, what is femininity? We see this question answered as a white-laced, blonde bombshells who flaunt their sexuality and deny their pleasure.
Performance, performance, performance. Little girls are taught to parade in heels and playhouse. Teenage girls are taught to project desirability to maintain stature among their friends and peers. Finally, women are taught to nurture, bear children, and care for their husbands. We say that we’ve moved on—but have we really?
Virginity, a word that is so often tossed around in the media and within groups of prepubescent kids in school hallways, questions today’s modernization. Virginity is seen as shameful in boys, but crucial in girls. Men, from a young age, are conditioned to attain, conquer, and possess. If you’re a man and virgin, you’re seen as inferior.
We hear many stories of teenage boys trying to get laid. These monotonous archetypes in coming-of-age films have never done anything but further these expectations.
Now, women—women are taught to hold on tight to their beloved bodies: protect your body, for it is a temple. Oh, and make sure to wear those chastity rings so that boys know that you’re saving yourself for marriage.
These are the ridiculous teachings that span so many households.
Now, let’s look at things from a municipal standpoint. Mississippi has a law mandating that it must preach a message of “abstinence only” to its students. This then correlates directly to the increase of the city’s teen pregnancy epidemic. The truth is, a girl’s abstinence shouldn’t be discussed by anyone in the school system. Abstinence is a choice, and regardless, credible information regarding safe sex is a necessity for students in every school and community.
When did we start putting such a high premium on women’s bodies? Preaching morals that revolve solely on appearance can contribute to our girls growing up with body dysmorphia, depression, and low self-esteem.
If we teach girls that men will only marry them if they’ve stayed “pure,” then we are single-handedly reverting back to the systematic discrimination of the past. A woman’s sexual activity is her own choice—her husband, career, and most certainly her school shouldn’t dominate that conversation. If we consider ourselves feminists, then we need to be open to improving every aspect of sexism.
I’m not bashing religious beliefs or personal choices—I’m bashing the purity myth. A woman is not corroded if she has sex. A woman isn’t a skank if she shows cleavage. It’s time to shut down these views, and grow up.
Photo by Jasmine Foong
