The first time I saw female ejaculation in porn I was curious, but also, as is my reaction to anything in porn, skeptical. Some of the displays seemed so over the top that I couldn’t imagine that amount of liquid could come from a body and not be pee.
My depraved curiosity led me from Wikipedia to chat rooms on fetlife.com, an online fetish social network. But I was ultimately surprised with the minimal amount of information available on the Internet, considering that Cosmopolitan somehow manages to find “69 Ways To Pleasure Your Man!” every month.
This is probably due to the fact that the medical community has yet to recognize female ejaculation as an actual phenomenon because that would confirm the existence of the oh-so-mysterious G-spot.
Considering that squirting is illegal to show in pornography in Australia, one has to wonder how seemingly close-minded our society is about a subject that dates back centuries.
In Rwanda the practice of kunyara—female ejaculation—is said to have originated during the Third Dynasty of the Rwandan monarchy. When seeking a prospective mate, women are considered marriageable when they are capable of kunyara. Preparing girls for female ejaculation begins in primary school and is called gukuna, where the inner lips of the labia are stretched to further enhance sensitivity and pleasure.
In Eastern philosophies such as Tantra and Taoism, amrita, or nectar of the gods, can be unlocked through the three gates—the clitoris, G-spot, and cervix. These philosophies put a great emphasis on the metaphysical benefits of female ejaculation and describe the sensation as much more powerful than a clitoral or vaginal orgasm, likening the experience to transcendence to a higher spiritual plane.
After seeing that squirting was in no way a fad, I decided to check out a workshop by local artist, sex educator, and fetish model, Julia Winston. Winston is the creator of The Squirt Project, which aims to be the largest online resource on the subject of female ejaculation.
After she told us about her Tangible Evidence series, where she ejaculates on to canvases sprinkled with powdered paint, I have to admit my interest was piqued.
Apparently, the chemical makeup of female ejaculate is actually a lot closer to the fluid found in the male prostate than to urine, a common misconception about squirting. The ejaculate is stored in the paraurethral gland that surrounds the urethra, also known as the G-spot.
The fluid that builds up in the gland during stimulation is what causes women to sometimes feel the intense need to pee. This fear is usually what prevents women from being able to ejaculate, because breaking down those mental barriers can be the hardest part about learning how to squirt.
All the women who helped me with my research agreed on one thing—to ejaculate it is necessary to fully surrender yourself to the moment. That means being comfortable with the possibility of passionate and/or violent reactions, and a temporary loss of control over your body.
It would be a lot easier to get comfortable if you have a partner who is willing to support you during this learning curve, and won’t ridicule you over any mishaps. Positive affirmation found in dirty talk will only help to make you more comfortable.
So, let’s get down to the fine print. Start off by emptying your bladder, so that when that pressure starts you won’t clamp up thinking you’re about to wet the bed. Well, at least with the wrong fluid.
Set the scene, do whatever you need to do to get yourself really turned on. Winston mentioned that her partner always starts her off with a “primer” orgasm to get her fully relaxed and ready to go.
If you or your partner isn’t sure where the G-spot is, not to worry. If you’re aroused, fluid builds up in the gland and feels hard. You can find it on the front inside wall of the vagina–it should be around the size of a walnut and has a rougher texture than the rest of the vaginal muscles.
You can stimulate the G-spot by making a come-hither motion with two of your fingers, but to build pressure you’ll need push harder. If you’ve never had a G-spot orgasm from penetration it’s probably because your partner’s penis or the toy you’re using is too long. Try placing some pillows under your hips to get a better angle of your pelvis. If you’ve played around with anal or double penetration, try adding that into the mix, as it’s an excellent way of adding pressure.
If you start feeling the need to release you’re probably ready to squirt and the feeling should have become a very erotic one. You need to keep yourself relaxed and open to whatever might happen. Pushing down on the PC muscles–think of doing the opposite of what you do when you try to keep pee in–that you do Kegel exercises with will release the ejaculate.
If you are successful anywhere from a teaspoon to a cup of clear fluid will squirt or sprinkle out of the urethra. It might be a good idea to keep a towel handy, or if the mess bothers you but you want to keep exploring, you can move your activity to the bathroom or invest in some rubber sheets.
Now, if you’re not successful, remember this: every woman has the biological possibility to squirt. While some women have been able to squirt their whole lives, there are many others for whom this can be an incredibly difficult feat, both mentally and physically.
Whatever the outcome is to this adventure, you and your partner are sure to have learned a lot. You can always decide to forget about it completely, put it on the back burner for special occasions, or continue exploring your torrents of pleasure.
–@alejandranikola
