On Nov. 14, Canadians gathered across the country to attend the second annual Saying Goodbye Concert in honour of National Grief and Bereavement Day.
A national live stream coupled with live performances at Ottawa’s National Arts Centre (NAC) comprised this hybrid concert organized by the Canadian Hospice and Palliative Care Association (CHPCA).
To create a safe environment for discussing grief openly, performers shared personal anecdotes and used music to comfort attendees.
The two-hour concert was packed with music, either as pre-recorded videos or live performances. The evening’s lineup included Don Amero’s Refined, Ray Legere’s performance of Maiden’s Prayer, Gregory Charles’ heartwarming rendition of The Wonder of You and Mikhail Laxton’s original song What Can I Say?, inspired by his late mother.
Musician Tara Shannon was this year’s artistic director of the Saying Goodbye concert. With the pressures of the pandemic heavy on Canadians’ hearts, Shannon said she and other organizers from the CHPCA were inspired to create a space where the greater community could gather and embrace those grieving.
“So many people have lost loved ones during the pandemic, not necessarily to COVID, but just in general. Because of the pandemic, they were denied the opportunity to say goodbye to their loved ones in a way that we would normally do,” Shannon said.
The message relayed by the Saying Goodbye concert holds special significance to Don Amero, who lost his brother-in-law two years ago to cancer. He said it fuelled his motivation to perform.
“There’s a closeness in my heart in terms of wanting to invite and encourage and help others through the process of grief,” Amero said.
Beloved Canadian performer Fred Penner also recognized the value of hosting this kind of concert. Penner said the concert gives people a valuable perspective on life.
“Death is a fact of life and how people learn to accept that truth is so important so that they are not fearful of death so that they can prepare themselves for that time,” Penner said. “Something like a Saying Goodbye concert can maybe give people some understanding and perspective.”
Penner said the sounds he shared with his family are now permanent parts of how he understands the souls of his father and sister.
The power of music to unlock and relive memories also rings true for Shannon. She said she believes that music can be a tool in the healing process.
“It’s a very magical thing. It’s even like a time machine,” she said. “Everybody grieves in their own way and music brings us through the whole spectrum of emotions.”
Amero echoed the sentiment that music is capable of transporting people to different places or through different emotions.
“When we administer music to ourselves, I think that there’s something really powerful going on because music has this ability to go deeper than any other senses and stimulus that we engage in,” Amero said.
The Saying Goodbye concert also aimed to normalize conversations around end-of-life care, according to Shannon. She said life often gets in the way of talking about death.
“In our fast-paced, action-oriented society, we don’t talk about [death],” she said.
Shannon and Penner both agreed that creating still and safe spaces to discuss end-of-life wishes is paramount to progress.
“Learning to deal with death in a positive way is crucial,” Penner said.
The CHPCA offers kits and resources that help navigate these conversations with loved ones.
CEO of CHPCA, Laurel Gillespie, reiterated the importance of normalizing bereavement while speaking at the concert.
“If anything, we’re resilient, but as human beings, we are not meant to carry the burden of grief alone,” she said. “As a society, we need to become more comfortable with grief and bereavement as we carry on about our day-to-day lives.”
Amero said that amidst the pandemic and time of grieving, there is still a lot of hope to be felt.
“There are still possibilities for our future and that doesn’t negate the fact that the season we’re in is hard, but I also want to cling to the hope that we aren’t always going to be here,” he said. “There’s still a lot of beauty out there worth engaging in.”
Featured image by Kyra Vellinga.
