A notice requesting that Carleton students stop ejaculating in the shower has been deemed a hoax, according to Carleton’s director of Housing and Residence Life, Laura Storey.
The letter, dated Sept. 19, was posted around residence buildings using Carleton’s official logo.
“The shower is not a good place to ejaculate. We have had multiple complaints that the water pressure is very low and we are trying to fix it, but the reasoning for it being so low is because of the amount of cum in the drainage system,” the notice read. “We ask you to not ejaculate in the shower so we can resolve this issue.”
Storey said she was informed of the prank by staff members, who also removed the postings.
“We take it seriously because of the fact that they’ve put on Carleton’s letterhead and some students might believe it to be true,” she said.
Storey added she didn’t know how semen in the drainage system could cause problems for the water pressure.
“I’m not aware that that would or could ever be an issue, or has ever been an issue,” she said.
Jacob Howell, the Rideau River Residence Association’s president, said he thought the notice was fake based on its “terminology.”
He added notices like these appear year after year, and that students should not take them seriously.
“It just gave me a good chuckle,” Howell said.
Jashandeep Gharyal, a first-year history student, said he got a laugh out of the prank.
“I thought that it was really funny, there’s something about seeing an official masturbation notice which may have been issued by the school which makes your day,” Gharyal said.
He added that while some of his friends fell for the hoax, he didn’t believe it because he’s seen similar pranks occur at other universities in Canada.
A post to the “Spotted at uOttawa” Facebook page on Sept. 22 showed a picture of a similar notice under the University of Ottawa letterhead.
“Masturbation in the showers is strictly prohibited in the Residence Agreement as well as the Code of Conduct and Disciplinary Procedure,” the posting read. “The shower drains are not designed to handle large quantities of semen.”
Storey said while pranks such as these aren’t common in Carleton’s residences, the department would follow up if they find the students responsible.
She told the Charlatan she could not go into specifics about the punishment for students responsible, saying it depended on a variety of factors, such as whether they were repeat offenders.
For students wondering how to differentiate between hoaxes and real notices, Storey said the department usually communicates important announcements via email.
“We don’t, generally speaking, hang notices,” she said.
—With files from Temur Durrani
Photo by Jasmine Foong
