(Stuck in an elevator with 17 people in Glengarry Residence)
Guy: Could the other 16 people in this elevator please turn into one really hot girl?
(Boyfriend talks about schoolwork)
Boyfriend: I am quite depressed . . . I don't want to talk about it.
Girlfriend: Aw, sweetie . . . You want a feelski?!
Boyfriend: (pauses) . . . You know me so well!!
(A group of guys talking)
Guy 1: I heard this dude in Florida wrestled an alligator to save his girlfriend's dog.
Guy 2: I wouldn't even wrestle an alligator to save my girlfriend.
Guy 3: Yeah . . . teeth beats boobs every time!
(Boyfriend and girlfriend are saying goodbyes)
Boyfriend: Because of the exams, we won't be able to see each other for a while. Until then, let this sustain you . . . (lifts up his shirt and shows his nipple).
Girl 1: So, how are you holding up?
Girl 2: I've got three exams in four days, I have a final report due this Friday, I have a terrible headache, and this morning I found a grey hair!
(Two friends arguing)
Guy: As Spock once said, "Live long and suck it."