Girl 1: I feel like vaginas are trying to be pretty. At least with a dick, it’s like ‘I’m a dick!’ Vaginas are just trying to be cute.
Girl 2: Your vagina isn’t trying to front you.
OOO
Guy 1: What the fuck is a Snooki?
Guy 2: It’s those little brown bear things in Star Wars!
Guy 3: That’s a Wookiee!
Guy 1: I though it was called a Teddy!
Guy 2: No, that’s what my baby sister calls her stuffed toy!
OOO
Prof: My wife made me go shopping this weekend. Apparently babies need cribs to sleep in.
OOO
Girl: You treat me so poorly.
Guy: WHAT?! I treat you like a princess.
OOO
(A group of girls at the bus stop)
Girl: Your mother is just like you, only less horrible!
OOO
(A group of girls talk amongst themselves, and a group of guys observes them)
Guy: (imitating the Crocodile Hunter) Crikey! What we have here is a gaggle of female teenage freshmen. Look how they co-exist among themselves in the wild. Now watch how their behaviour changes as a predator approaches.
(He approaches the girls)
Guy: Hey ladies!
Girls: Go away!
(Guy returns to his group)
Guy: (immitating the Crocodile Hunter) Crikey! See how they formed a perfect defense barrier? Just wait until they are 30, single and desperate!
OOO
Guy: Why can’t I play with my own beard?! That’s why I’m growing it!
OOO
(Discussing presentation)
Girl: I didn’t go into history to talk in front of people. We don’t like talking to people, that’s why we study the dead.
OOO
(Guy gets chased by friend’s dog)
Guy: (screaming) SERPENTINE! SERPENTINE! SERPENTINE!
OOO