Girl: [on cell phone] Hey, do you need anything from Wal-Mart? ‘Cause I’m on my way to Wal-Mart. I really need bread and mustard.

 

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Girl 1: The stuff you take before an X-ray is in my eyeliner, and that’s the stuff I’m allergic to.

Girl 2: I’d say it’s time to invest in a new eyeliner.

Girl 1: It’s only if I get it too close to my eye.

 

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Guy:It’s reverse-strip poker. You have to put on a piece of clothing for every hand you lose.

 

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Girl:They were all like: ‘OMG! You EAT? How do you stay soooo skinny?’ and then we talked about sex.

 

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Girl 1: Why does the alligator in Zoo Tycoonneed so much water?

Girl 2:It’s probably thirsty . . .

Girl 1:Alligators live in water . . . You’re in university?

 

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Girl:I want this fist to just go boom.

 

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Guy 1:Pizza and sex. If it’s bad, it’s still good.

Guy 2:But if it’s moldy and it says stupid things, then . . .

 

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