Guy: That chick is messed.
Girl: Hunny, in your upbringing you don’t notice people on drugs. She’s probably on crack, like me right now.
Guy: Whaaatttt?
Guy: I pour my dog a beer.
Girl: What?
Guy: Yeah, I’m not going to drink alone for God’s sake.
Guy: C’mon, let’s go.
Girl: Nooooooo. I want to stay and make slime.
Guy: Why don’t we just go back to my room and make slime?
Guy 1: Do you ever wonder what your sperm look like?
Guy 2: Uh, tadpoles?
Guy 1: No, I mean your sperm.
Guy 2: My sperm are orange.
Guy 1: The girl can’t get pregnant if she’s on top.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: Yeah, it’s all about gravity. She can’t get pregnant if she’s on top.
Guy 2: What are you talking about? Those sperm have strong little-ass tails.