WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT
This story contains mention of sexual harassment and assault. Those in need of support can call the Ottawa Distress Centre Crisis Line: 613-238-3311 or the Carleton Sexual Assault Support Centre: 613-520-5622.
I, for one, quite enjoy the Oscars, even though I kind of hate them.
Every spring, when my friends complain about the cringe-worthy sketches, awkward presenters and shoe-horned facetious political messaging, I nod my head, agree with them, and then continue to watch Jimmy Kimmel dressed as SpongeBob SquarePants.
I don’t have many guilty pleasures, but this is one. After the Academy Awards’ fare in 2021, I was pleased to see my supposedly rigged Hollywood comfort viewing returning in full force this year.
The night had some incredibly memorable moments: the ground-breaking film Coda taking home best picture, Billie Eilish moving one step closer to an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony).
Yeah, that was it. I don’t think anything more memorable than that happened.
Oh wait, there was that one thing. Sorry to break it to you, but I’m not going to be talking about the slap.
I’m talking about the moment early in the show, when co-host Regina Hall got on stage to do a bit about COVID-19 testing, in which she brought several desirable men up on stage, the gag being that their tests came back as “single.”
The gag had actors Timothée Chalamet, Bradley Cooper, Tyler Perry and Simu Liu joining Hall onstage as she called their names.
The co-host then explained how the process would work.
“First, take your mask off… then your clothes,” Hall said. “It’s simple, I’m gonna swab the back of your mouth… with my tongue.”
The bit also included a shout-out to Euphoria actor Jacob Elordi.
“I’ve seen you on Euphoria, and yes, you are legal—I’m sorry—you are positive.” Hall said, met by uproarious laughter from the crowd.
It didn’t end there, either. Later in the night, Hall patted down (or more so groped) actors Jason Momoa and Josh Brolin. Again, laughter. This gag was even more egregious, actually incorporating physical contact instead of only hinting at it.
Even in the form of jokes, these attitudes are harmful to both men and women.
If we want to create a future where men have a healthier relationship with sexuality, we must eliminate the expectation that they are perpetually interested in sex.
Society often has an odd relationship with male sexuality. I’m reminded of the times I’ve had my rear casually patted by adult women while working retail or by female classmates backstage during a high school play. I never once felt threatened but always hated the precedent being set.
I want to clarify that I’m not directing this anger at feminism or women’s sexual empowerment—quite the opposite. I think the message sent by Hall’s sketch—and the Academy’s willingness to let it happen—is a signal of harmful attitudes for all genders. The patriarchy hurts us all.
I get it. It was a gag: The actors were clearly in on it. That doesn’t make the whole thing feel any less icky.
One question immediately comes to mind: What if we reversed the genders here? I won’t ignore that criticism—believe me, the thought of one of the late-night Jimmies making the same comments about Millie Bobbie Brown as Hall did about Elordi did cross my mind, just as it did when the hosts made a crack about the appearance of Oscar-winning actor J.K. Simmons.
However, I want to shy away from comparisons because they miss the real issue. Brolin and Momoa were clearly not intimidated or threatened by Hall. They were not worried about their reputations.
My issue here is the very nonchalant approach to male sexuality and the implication that it is inherently something to be taken and given freely.
Look at Hall’s criteria for the men she called onstage: They’re single. She even jokes about bringing Javier Bardem up before ‘remembering’ that he’s still with his wife, Penelope Cruz.
It’s not like they were all men who asked her out or who ‘swiped right’ on her. They were unclaimed. That’s it.
As I see it, the implication here is that the only thing holding back desirable men from being potential conquest is their status as belonging to another woman. There is no suggestion of their level of interest or comfort in being taken backstage and undressed. They’re hot, so it’s ok.
Essentially, they were reduced to unclaimed objects.
Hall’s actions here, groping men and proposing steamy situations to a group of them, totally ignore any emotions related to male sexuality. This plants seeds that can grow into some pretty awful attitudes: Attitudes that already exist in many young men, due to the toxic and competitive way sex is often viewed by men in North American society.
For men to cultivate healthy and intimate relationships with others and themselves, emotion has to be acknowledged, not cast away in the name of humour. Too many men see sex as an emotionless act, a conquest, a duty devoid of thought or feeling.
I don’t think it’s the responsibility of women to change and educate men, but I think everyone must actively try to shut down predatory humour that could make an already harmful culture even worse.
Hall’s jokes were not empowering, not acceptable and not funny. They reflected attitudes that actively harm men’s relationship with sexuality and emphasized the need for a new approach for the upcoming generation: One that prioritizes boundaries and an understanding of personal limits and healthy emotional relationships.
Featured graphic by Paloma Callo.
