Walking through the Unicentre, it’s pretty clear that I only have two choices: do the horrifying and unforgiveable act of murdering an unborn child, or become a saint and dedicate my life to my baby.
Regardless of their intention, Lifeline’s lawsuit and graphic displays in the Unicentre have left me frustrated with the pro-choice, pro-life debate.
Without commenting on their ideology, I think they go too far in portraying images of dead, unborn fetuses in a busy area of school. This strategy is based on shock value and alienates people who may be considering an abortion.
Rather than scare and alienate people, Lifeline, and Carleton University in general, should focus on actually trying to educate people about the different options available to them.
When I found out I was pregnant, I went to Equity Services at Carleton, who said they couldn’t help me. They were only able to help if I had found out about my pregnancy much earlier on, and their only job was to help students get academic accommodation.
I got tossed from service to service, and the result was that I personally arranged to withdraw in good standing from my courses and come back the following year. My courses were sorted out, but I still didn’t have any options of what to do with this baby. With my family five hours away, I was alone.
Armed with a handful of pamphlets and an earful of condescension, I tried to figure out my options. I learned there are different levels and types of adoptions. Adoptions through Children’s Aid Society are always closed, so you don’t know anything about the family and they know nothing about you. Private adoptions can be closed, or open (meaning you keep contact with the child and family), and you can handpick who you want to raise your child based on social and medical background.
That doesn’t seem like a lot of information, but when you’re stressed and considering the future of an unborn child, it really is. There are so many questions that go unanswered.
Now, I won’t say that everyone has had this experience and went unsupported at our school, but I imagine that if it happened to me, it could happen to many people.
The anxiety that comes with pregnancy, and trying to decide whether you want to be a mother, goes beyond black and white moral values. What happens to your education? Does the father actually want to be a father? What about your family? Can you even provide for this child? And if you can, are you emotionally stable enough to do this?
Women consider abortions for a reason. If Lifeline wants to stop people from having abortions, they should start supporting women and help to educate them on the different options available to them.
There’s a huge stigma attached to adoption, just as there is to abortion, and even just being pregnant, so the whole process can become overwhelming.
The same goes for informing women on how to have a child while continuing your degree. At this point, having a baby could seem like the end of your dreams, and it doesn’t need to be. Though this is clear when you read articles about women with children in university, it’s not when you are pregnant and your resources are limited. Women want to support each other, and I’m sure a peer service would be welcome.
When I see Lifeline protesting in the Unicentre, I’m frustrated at their lack of understanding and compassion. We shouldn’t be trying to guilt our peers into making a decision that might not be right for them. We should be providing support and making a difficult experience feel less lonely. You don’t wake up and say, “Hm, I think I’m going to murder my unborn child because I’m a terrible person.” Lifeline needs to stop propagating that message.
Deciding what to do when you’re pregnant is a terrifying and difficult experience. Lifeline could make that a little less terrifying, while sticking to their beliefs that abortion shouldn’t be an option. They have the potential to actually have a good impact instead.
Women need more and deserve more.
