I was raped in first year. I did not report it, and I will always feel a measure of guilt for this.
I was not raped due to a flaw in university safety measures. What happened could have happened anywhere. Campus safety should be improved, but what is on my heart is the need for a place where students who have been sexually assaulted can communicate and feel safe in doing so.
After I was raped, I knew there were professional counsellors on campus. I knew going to them was an option, but it didn’t feel like one. I was ashamed and afraid. I didn’t feel seeing a counsellor would be sufficiently confidential, or even helpful. What I really needed was someone on my level to talk things through with, and as a first-year student living in residence who had just been raped by a “friend” and fellow student, there was no one like this in my life.
I am convinced that if I knew there was a sexual assault help centre on campus where I could have gone to talk to other students, things would have been better. I wanted to talk about what happened. If I had talked to someone, I would have realized that what happened was indeed rape and it was not my fault. I could have begun healing. Instead, I blamed myself and did whatever it took to avoid confronting what had happened.
The much-touted need for professional counsellors holds true, but people’s first point of contact will intuitively be someone on their own level. Being willing to address the problem is intimidating to begin with.
The last thing anyone who has been sexually assaulted needs is more obstacles. Healing takes a long time, but a student-run centre for sexual assault victims would be a starting point for students who feel like I felt — afraid, confused, and numb.
Some Carleton students need this centre. Please make it happen.
Note: This third-year public affairs student spoke on the condition of anonymity.