“Hi! Can I please take the next order?”
The woman orders a six-inch oven-roasted chicken, toasted, on a flat bread. Thirty seconds later, I observe the line of people in front of me getting longer and longer, and then I knew what time it was: lunch rush.
During this time, I would have to sacrifice my hunger for another two hours. By then, the rush would die down.
Once the rush ended, I felt my stomach crying for food and water. Imagine standing for two hours straight without having eaten breakfast, constantly being exposed to the toaster and standing in the same spot.
The smell of the finished subs aroused my digestive system. Once lunch died down, I ended up making myself a sandwich. This was the relief of all reliefs. But I knew that the days that followed would be different.
I have been a Muslim since the second week of March 2011. Aug. 1 marked the first day of the holy month of Ramadan. I knew that by becoming a Muslim, I would have to undertake this obligation.
In the Qur’an, the holy book of Muslims, Allah ordained that Muslims must fast during this month. But despite that, I knew I wanted to accept Islam.
I was born into a Catholic family and always considered myself a practicing Catholic. I attended Sunday mass, I prayed, and I was involved a Christian youth group. I considered myself to have a relationship with God.
One might wonder why I accepted Islam. One of the initial reasons why I became Muslim was that I like the impact Islam has on people.
I met a handful of the Muslims I know now at Carleton’s annual Islam Awareness Week 2010. I learned so much about the religion that week and I felt like our religious views were very similar.
Also, their warm welcoming actions towards me, as well as the way they found joy in life’s struggles, were attributed to certain aspects of Islam. I wanted that. Alhamdulillah (praise be to God), I became a Muslim one year later during Islam Awareness Week, March 2011.
As the months went by, Ramadan grew closer. It was only in mid-July that I realized its impending arrival.
I didn’t know how I was going to survive Ramadan. Eating food was my pastime.
I tried fasting from food a couple of days before Ramadan. My typical pre-Ramadan practice fasts involved abstaining from food from 11 p.m. at night until 6 p.m. the next day. After three days straight of doing it, I felt like I was slightly prepared for Ramadan.
But Ramadan is not only about abstaining from food. Muslims see it as an opportunity for their good deeds to be multiplied, their sins forgiven and overall increasing their state of man (faith). Knowing that Ramadan was an opportunity for me to come out with a higher state of faith and closeness to Allah got me looking forward to it.
The first day of Ramadan opened with an eight-hour shift at my part-time job at Subway. It was not as busy because it was a civic holiday and not many people eat at a Subway in a government building when it’s a holiday.
At 7:30 p.m., my shift was over. I felt hungry, but I was not experiencing hunger pain. I felt like my hunger was overshadowed by the excitement I had to improve my relationship with Allah by increasing my good deeds, praying on time and exhibiting appropriate manners.
In the first week of Ramadan, I learned that Ramadan isn’t just about fasting from food. An older Muslim brother, who is a professor at Carleton, expressed that if we are able to control our hunger by abstaining from food and drink, our bodies’ physical necessities, then we can control our desires.
Hearing this aspect of Ramadan helped me focus more in controlling my desires and increasing my good deeds. The hunger I felt was just a reminder that I was doing this for the sake of Allah.
Throughout the month of Ramadan, fasting from food was not as much of a challenge as I initially thought it would be.
The challenge for me was training myself to control my desires and behaviour. For instance, I occasionally use foul language when I am frustrated, happy, confused or surprised. I also struggle with gossiping. I’m not as bad now as I was in previous years but there’s always room for improvement.
There’s a saying in Islam that states: Allah won’t care if you fast from eating and drinking if you continue to use foul language, exhibit inappropriate manners and gossip.
This saying made me want to focus more on fixing my bad habits due to the realization that my fasting would have no value to Allah if I continued my bad habits. This was my ongoing struggle in Ramadan.
Towards the end of Ramadan, I felt as if there appeared to be a sadness within the Muslim community. I kind of felt a bit sad that Ramadan was over because I felt I could have done more to increase my state of faith. I’m not too hard on myself since this was my first Ramadan, but at the end of the day, I’m responsible for my actions.
However, not all was lost this Ramadan. I was able to read a chunk of the Qur’an, which I barely touched before Ramadan, in hopes of finishing it soon. I prayed more and sought more knowledge about Islam, which also helped me through my struggles.
Overall, I felt like I grew in faith just by encountering the struggles of Ramadan and I feel that even though Ramadan is over, I am motivated to better prepare myself if I make it to the next Ramadan. Insha’Allah (God-willing).
When Eid finally came, I was actually looking forward to eating during the day. I am new to Eid, so I wasn’t sure what people did during Eid.
I learned that it’s a time of happiness and celebration at the end of Ramadan. It’s also a time most of my friends told me they were going to attend family dinners or go shopping.
My first Eid opened with an Eid prayer in the morning in a field outside Carleton, although there were Eid prayers taking place all over Ottawa. The prayer took place in the football field. It was raining, yet it was a full house.
At the end of the prayer, a group of sisters and I distributed candy bags to children. The many “thank yous” we received was quite uplifting.
The rest of the day was spent with two of my close friends. We hung out downtown for over six hours. At some point, we felt like we were still fasting because hunger would not get us up from our seats to get food.
At around 6 p.m., I had to leave them to go to a meeting. I was depressed for a bit because I was alone and it was Eid. My family lives abroad and I had no one to spend Eid dinner with because I was at the meeting.
But then I remembered I was thankful to Allah for the ability to experience Ramadan and I’m blessed with wonderful friends, family and opportunities. In the end, it was a happy Eid for me and I wouldn’t have wanted it to be any other way.