The transition from high school to university is hard, and that’s especially true if you’re attempting to navigate a long-distance relationship.
Being far away from your partner can take away the aspects that make your relationship feel worth it — date nights, heart-to-heart conversations and quality down time.
Most of the advice about relationships is centered around close-distance relationships.
Let’s talk about how to maintain and even strengthen a relationship that’s the opposite.
How you communicate matters
A study conducted with 114 individuals in long-distance relationships found there is a positive association with oral and face-to-face channels (like FaceTime) when it comes to maintaining trust and satisfaction.
Would you rather spend face-to-face time with your partner, or spend time texting them?
Your answer is likely that you would rather see them. This concept doesn’t change because of the distance. It is more rewarding to see your partner, rather than interpret the words that they send you through a screen.
Time to re-evaluate intimacy
Being in a long-distance relationship means that the way you express intimacy will change. This is an opportunity to reflect on what romance means to you.
It’s important to be open and honest with your partner about your needs, wants and desires.
Long-distance relationships can take away valuable non-verbal communication with your partner, making it harder to gauge what they’re feeling.
While this can serve as a potential roadblock, if partners can communicate honestly and candidly, they are on the route to success.
Successful long-distance relationships rely on latent intimacy: a feeling of warmth and connection residing in individuals in a partnership. Decreasing your reliance on physical interaction or togetherness is critical for long-term sustainability.
Recognize that you are separate from your partner
A 2014 study of college students and long-distance relationships found feelings of loneliness increased when seeing other happy couples.
However, students tended to feel less lonely when engaged in their own busy schedules.
The students used phone calls with their partners as a coping mechanism but also relied on their friendships.
It is important to remember that while your relationship can be a big part of your life, it is also extremely important to have your own social, professional and personal life. Be your own person!
Preventing conflict is good. Avoiding it is not
It’s inevitable that at some point, you and your partner will face a challenge, and conflict will arise. When this happens, take a step back to evaluate what is frustrating you.
Consider reframing the issue as you and your partner facing a problem together — not you battling your partner.
Saying nothing about the issue can lead to a manifestation of lost feelings and future repeated conflicts. If someone is unable to voice their feelings, their manifested thoughts will show as symptoms in the relationship and their everyday life.
To protect the sanctity of a romantic relationship and your personal life, it is important to find healthy ways of expressing your emotions; this could be in the form of talking to your partner or a therapist, journaling, or even exercise.
It is not unreasonable to have a long-distance relationship in post-secondary education, as long as it is done the right way.
By using the right techniques and having frequent and honest communication with your partner, you can give and receive the love you deserve.
Featured graphic by Sara Mizannojehdehi.
