Opinion

 

 

On March 15, 8,000 people gathered at Scotiabank Place to watch the Carleton Ravens win their sixth national championship in seven years. Normally, 8,000 people huddled in one place to watch a college basketball game would be boisterous and impressive, but the giant arena’s three levels dwarfed the crowd and crushed its energy.

 

 

 

Girl: Don’t eat that, it looks like plastic Styrofoam.

Guy: I happen to like plastic Styrofoam.

Girl: Well, I like raccoons but I wouldn’t shove them down my throat.

 

 

Girl 1: Just because you’ve had sex more times than me doesn’t mean you’re my elder, it just means you’re a frickin’ whore!

Girl 2: Cucumber and sperm are so different.

 

 

 

 

Hey Voicebox. I just want to tell you that Seamus Wolfe just waited on my table at 1848. And you know what? Brittany Smyth would never do a single day of work for any student. Ever. I just wanna say that and you should know that if you don’t tip the bartender, Michael Jackson touches another child. That’s important. OK. Aight [HI VOICEBOX] and hope you have a great St. Patty’s Day. Good night.