Jessica Azevedo wants to talk about sex. Good sex, bad sex, sweet sex and kinky sex — the 25-year-old Carleton student wants to hear about it all. And she wants to share those stories with others, too.
This is a running theme for Azevedo, who finished a BA in women’s studies at Trent University before coming to Carleton to study women’s studies and sociology.
In the year between, she worked at a condom specialty shop in Vancouver.
Now she’s the host of a new
series of workshops at Wicked Wanda’s Adult Emporium at Bank Street and James Street.
Her first event, on June 16, was called “Exploring Desires and Dismantling Shame.” She says her first order of business at a workshop is to make everyone feel comfortable.
“I want people to be like, ‘We’re not seeing eye to eye. I don’t like being peed on, but you do, but that’s cool,’” she says.
And when people do have something in common, Azevedo says the “commonalities can be liberating.”
But, as sex workshops come in all sizes, she’s had to clarify exactly what kind of events these are.
“There are a couple of older men that are like, ‘I’m an exhibitionist, can I come to this workshop and show my penis?’ And I’m like, ‘No! I’m talking! Keep your clothes on!’”
Misconceptions about sex stores, she says, can make it difficult to draw in the diverse crowd she’s looking for, especially young females.
She says sometimes people feel that those who speak out about sex or who are openly interested in studying sexuality are seen as “voyeurs.”
“People have kinks in them that they want to explore,” she says, but the polarization between what is seen as good sex and bad sex can prevent people from being open about their innermost desires.
For young women, expressing their sexuality can be especially fraught with difficulties, she says. Much of it is linked to self-esteem and, as a Trent student, Azevedo worked for an after-school program for Grade 9 girls called G.A.B. — Girls Are Beautiful.
But she says university students are often struggling too. “Young girls need to reclaim and re-embrace their sexuality,” she says.
And she says she has plans to keep the workshops a mix of fun and informative. She’s open to showing women “how to be really friggin’ hot drag kings,” and says she would like to cover everything from safe sex to masturbation to dirty talk.
She says she’s also keen on bringing academic theory into the workshops and -— of course — lots of open discussion.
But Azevedo is careful to note that she’s not a professional yet.
“I’m not like Sue Johanson, I’m not a certified sex educator,” she says. “I’m more like a sex sharer.”
The most important thing, she says, is to get people comfortable with themselves, and ready to share their ideas and experiences.
If things get a little off-kilter, all the better.
“It takes the freaky, kinky people, so to speak, to speak up about it.”