The Thanksgiving weekend is over, and it’s time to waddle back to class for midterms. Maybe you gorged on a homemade feast, maybe you scarfed a stale pumpkin pie your roommate found on sale, or maybe you’re one of those lucky people who have something called “self-control.” If you’re one of those people, this article is not for you.
If you have a big family like me, it’s hard to escape holiday weekends unscathed. It is a battleground of delicious homemade food, and avoiding a fourth dessert takes an advanced level of the “polite decline” that I haven’t been able to master yet.
So here we are, walking into class the week after with a food baby that might take a few weeks of-broke student eating to deplete. But through strategic outfit planning, you can offset your break weekend fluff, and rock your extra couple of pounds.
Outfit #1: Mads
Dark colours are everything when it comes to playing down your extra rolls. Here, a high-waisted floor-length black skirt (thrifted) gives me the illusion of being tall with a waist. A grey off-the-shoulder sweater (Wilfred) covers up and is cozy. Finally, a patterned headband (thrifted) draws attention to my well-rested face and chubby cheeks and away from my food baby belly.
Outfit #1: Jere
The key here is a funny thrifted t-shirt. Distract people with an odd t-shirt phrase and layer with a flannel (Bluenotes) or cardigan. This one is especially good because it says “I heart exercise,” giving you an athletic vibe, and killing any doubts that you’re not a healthy and well-rounded individual. No, I didn’t gain 10 pounds this weekend! I heart exercise!
Outfit #2: Mads
This outfit gives you a lot of breathing room—a.k.a letting your stomach hang out in all its glory. The patterned tent dress (American Apparel) adds a sense of mystery as to what shape my body actually is, and the baggy jacket (thrifted Levi’s) just adds to that potato sack effect. This outfit is great for moving around in floaty motions so no one actually has any clue what the shape of your body is.
Outfit #2: Jere
Layering can work wonders in this case. Basically, the more layers you put between yourself and the outside world, the less likely people will actually be able to tell what your body shape looks like. Here, Jeremy layers a grey sweater with multicoloured flecks (thrifted) over a patterned button-up (West 49) in a flattering way that looks structured yet casual.
Outfit #3: Mads
This outfit is the combination of two extremes with the goal of creating something neutral and flattering. A revealing night slip (Missguided) plus a librarian turtleneck (Old Navy) equals a confusing, but nonetheless socially acceptable outfit? Sort of like when you ate pumpkin pie for breakfast then subsequently forced yourself to go on an unenthusiastic 20-minute jog to “balance it out.”
Outfit #3: Jere
When I watched What Not to Wear semi-religiously as a pre-tween, they strongly advised against horizontal stripes because they made you look fat. With all due respect to Stacy and Clinton, the recent obsession with horizontal-striped shirts has killed this theory. Jeremy goes for a grandpa-style take on the striped shirt (Eddie Bauer), pairing it with cuffed slim khakis (Altamont) that are flattering. Choose your battles and accentuate your best features, folks. Also, grandpa style over everything.
We all tend to lose ourselves in the glory of holiday break food. Something about being at home or amongst family or friends allows us to stop taking ourselves too seriously. Everything that seemed to matter so much at school melts away. You ease up a little, and eat one or two or five too many cookies.
Joking aside, don’t beat yourself up about how much you ate this past weekend. Honestly, rock a crop top if you’re feeling it. Declare yourself Carleton’s Lena Dunham. Whatever you need to do to make it through the next week of school. With midterm season coming up, we could all use a little extra padding.
