In the race to stay relevant in the world of collegiate athletics, Carleton has decided to shift funding from its basketball program to its new Quidditch team.
The decision comes in the aftermath of the Raven men’s basketball team’s defeat at the hands of the University of Saskatchewan Huskies in the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) national championship tournament.
“We faced a tough decision,” said Carleton’s athletics director Jennifer Brenning. “The basketball program has been the face of Carleton athletics for the past several years, but we feel the Quidditch team offers an opportunity too good to pass up.”
With well over 300 universities and colleges now fielding competitive Quidditch teams globally, Brenning said giving Carleton’s team the funding that it needs to compete was “a no-brainer.”
“Bludgers don’t buy themselves,” she said.
Reaction on campus has been mixed, with many students still feeling connected to the basketball team.
“We’ve been the most dominant school in Canadian basketball for the past decade and they decide to cut the program’s funding?” said third-year political science student, Joey Graham. “What am I supposed to brag about now, the quality of education I’m receiving?”
Other students have been more accepting of the change, citing Quidditch’s meteoric rise in popularity as a reason for Carleton to start taking the sport more seriously.
“It’s fast, it’s dangerous, it’s sexy,” said first-year defence against the dark arts student Rawena Razzlemaw. “Quidditch is the sport of the future and this funding will allow Carleton to compete with the best.”
The mood amongst the basketball team itself has been one of dejection and disappointment, with several players struggling to cope with the reasoning behind the decision.
“What’s a quidditch?” said second-year forward Kevin Churchill.
Others on the team have sought to make the best out of a bad situation.
At 6’0’’, fourth-year guard Mike Kenny has a natural frame for the position of seeker, and has been recruited mercilessly by the Quidditch team, who are desperate for Kenny’s agility and team leadership.
“At first I was really hesitant,” said Kenny. “But then they took me out on the broom for a little bit and I really got a feel for how they play the game.”
“When you finally manage to grab the snitch, the sport really gets to you,” he said. “I won’t lie, it’s pretty cool.”
Carleton basketball head coach Dave Smart could not be reached for comment on Carleton’s new direction, but was seen glaring menacingly at the Quidditch team as they unveiled their new Firebolt brooms.
The new brooms are among a bevy of new equipment head coach Norf Salazaar plans to purchase with the new funding.
“Spiked bludgers. Incendiary quaffles. Human growth hormones. I will field the best Quidditch team this side of the forbidden forest, and we will leave the powdered bones of our enemies in our wake,” he said.
Salazaar was hired last month to usher in a new age of Quidditch dominance for Carleton, and with him he brings both experience and intensity to the fledgling team.
“I have seen horrors on the pitch that no man should ever have to endure,” he said. “I will bring these horrors to the hearts and minds of our opponents. I will destroy what makes them human.”
Brenning says Salazaar is just one part of the upcoming Quidditch renaissance at Carleton.
“Expect big things from this team in 2010,” she said. “Big things.”