1. You arrive at the airport. The furniture is unconventional — the lighting fixtures look like bubbles and the chairs are shaped like stingrays and eggs. You’ve just had your first encounter with Scandinavian design.
2. You feel like a snack. You step away from the baggage carousel to a stand selling hot dogs. You order one wrapped in bacon, covered in a thick yellowy sauce and possibly pickles. It goes down well with a bottle of chocolate milk.
3. You look around. Everyone is blond, attractive and wearing a scarf. There are old ladies in scarves, tiny babies in scarves and 14-year-old boys — in scarves. When you ask for directions, their English is better than yours.
4. On your way to your new place, you pick up groceries. You buy æbles (apples), brød (bread) and småkagers (cookies), but the peanut butter is nowhere in sight.
5. The next morning, you’re feeling a little thirsty, so you have a beer. It’s only 10, but your roommates yell ‘skål!’ (cheers) anyways.
6. You’ve made some Danish friends. They invite you over for a birthday party but you need a way to get there. The only option? A bike. You stick your beer in the basket and ride away.
7. But when you arrive at the door, you think you must have the date wrong – there are Danish flags on the tables, stuck to the wall and all over the cake. You’re not really sure what the Danish flag has to do with birthdays, and they don’t seem to know either. It's just tradition!
8. As soon as someone turns on the Danish version of X-Factor, the party really gets started. You can’t understand the judges, but the contestants are singing Justin Timberlake!
9. One of your friends is cycling home and asks where you’re headed. You try to say “up Nørrebrogade.” He asks you to repeat. You pronounce that ‘d’ like an ‘l’ and make a gagging noise. And again? Nope, those noises just won’t come out of an English mouth.
10. It’s time to leave. You put on your scarf, yell ‘hej hej!’ and cycle off into the night – wobbling only slightly. Yup, you’re definitely in Denmark.