After her first game of the 2019-20 season, Marlee Ball’s mind went back to the past. Ball scored a team-high 16 points in her Carleton Ravens debut against Drury University in August, but was still critical of herself. It was a telling moment about who she was and who she wanted to be.
A string of strong performances recently earned her the title of Carleton’s female Athlete of the Week.
The forward has come a long way since transferring to Carleton in 2018 after three years at Algoma University and is now entering her fifth-year in U Sports after redshirting last season.
“I just have really high expectations so when I don’t perform the way I want to perform, I automatically think I’m terrible,” Ball said. “All the positive things I’ve done–they don’t even occur to me.”
Ball said her high expectations come from her competitiveness and wanting to be the best at everything. When she doesn’t meet those expectations, she said it affects her performance and mental focus.
But she still has room for growth.
Ball grew up in Waterdown, a town of just under 20,000 next to Hamilton.
Her parents are deaf so she and her sister, Monica, would help out as much as they could by taking phone calls. Ball said this made her more independent at an early age.
“They can do [it] but it’s easier if me or my sister does for them,” she said. She would help her mom with her resume because ASL is a different language than English.
Despite being deaf, Ball’s parents were capable of giving her a “perfectly normal life.”
Ball picked up traits from her father in particular, calling him “a really hard worker.” He would check in on her if she needed help and watched every game of her basketball career.
“He’s just a caring person,” she said. “He’s always trying to be there for others and all of us.”
His support continued as her basketball career took off during her time at Waterdown District High School. Her love for basketball grew as she worked out in the Waterdown YMCA and by Grade 11, she wanted to play post-secondary basketball.
She chose to go to Algoma University in Sault Ste. Marie to study Law and Justice and Sociology and eventually developed an interest in policing from her upbringing.
“Knowing sign language and being a police officer, I can actually help not just deaf people but everybody,” she said. “That’s the first thing that kind of made me think it could be really good if I can do this.”
Ball said she chose Algoma because she thought it would provide her more playing time. While it did, it was a rough experience.
Adjusting to the intense training regime was tough. In her first year, Ball was struggling.
“I just wanted to go home,” she said. But Algoma head coach Ryan Vetrie convinced her to stay.
“I tried to be positive but back then, I had a short temper,” added Ball. “I don’t think I was very coachable as a rookie. I wasn’t mature enough. I wasn’t composed.”
This was easier said than done, especially as the team was struggling going 5-24, 9-21 and 2-29 in her three seasons there.
“It’s really hard to be positive when you’re losing games by a lot,” she said.
At Algoma, the negative impact of her high expectations started to hit. After winning Algoma’s rookie of the year, she put pressure on herself to be better. “I expected myself to be a scorer … an all-around player,” she said.
Off the court, Vetrie helped Ball and her teammates–lending them his car, for example, and holding team barbecues. On the court, Vetrie tried to build up her confidence.
“He really cared about his players… he would always make sure I was okay,” said Ball. “He was just telling me, ‘you’re good. You need to stop stressing.’”
But as the team kept losing, Ball began to feel she wasn’t progressing.
“I just decided if basketball is something I wanted to take seriously, I need to go somewhere else where I can actually see results,” she recalled.
She wanted to leave Algoma in her first semester but decided to finish the season.
“I just really thought, ‘Okay, I need to do something about this instead of thinking this over and over and not doing anything about it or I’m just going to sit here unhappy,’” she said. Despite being sad to leave, it was time to move on, she added.
Ball didn’t know if Carleton was open to having her when she contacted then-head coach Taffe Charles and was shocked when he responded. After their first conversation, she realized there was a “really good opportunity” in front of her.
Ball said it was tough sitting out in her redshirt year in 2018-19. However, the situation also helped her because there wasn’t any pressure that came with playing.
“I just respected Taffe so much, I didn’t even think about not being confident,” she said. “I was so focused on learning everything and doing the right things.”
Plus, it allowed her to settle into a new city. “Half of our team didn’t live in Ottawa so they all know the feeling of being away from home,” Ball said.
Charles noticed her competitiveness in practices. He talked with her about confidence and the process of developing rather than the results.
“All you can do is control the process and that’s one thing with her is trying to control the process,” Charles said.
When Charles told the team he was leaving for the men’s program in March, Ball said she was really upset but he made her feel it was going to be okay. One thing in particular Charles said stuck with her: focus on what you can control.
“I can’t control his decision to leave and I can’t control the coach that comes in, but I can control how I react to it,” she said.
Charles noted Ball has a “lot of self-awareness of who she is.” She understands how to manage her emotions as well as what she can do for others, he said. He called her a great teammate, someone who thinks about others.
“I think her being away from home, she relates to what people are going through when they’re away from home,” said second-year forward Mallory Katz, adding Ball has taken on more of a leadership role in the locker room.
Past, Present and Future
Brian Cheng is now the current head coach of the team and one of the things he discusses with his players is the idea of past, present and future. By focusing on the present, Cheng said, players will reach their future goals. He talked with Ball about not focusing on past mistakes, and letting them hinder her progress.
“He said, ‘You need to play basketball, really,” she said. “You need to stop having these high expectations for yourself or you’re going to be disappointed in yourself every single time.”
After a poor performance in the Drury game in pre-season, Ball said her mindset afterwards was “mentally draining.”
“I think my confidence just got in the way,” she recalled.
Now, it’s a process to continually build that confidence and try and live in the present.
She’s been working to get to that point. In the summer, she would go in for early morning optional shoot arounds to work on her shot and defensive positioning. This helps focus her, she said.
Some days and practices are easier than others, Ball said. Off the court, she’s also been working on self-care, to help herself and help others. “I feel like I could work on myself as a person – but for myself,” she said. “I feel like if I were more confident, not even in basketball but in other parts of my life, I could give back more.”
Ball said that means she focuses on things she can control such as studying, preparing for a game, reading and being productive. When she’s tired, she goes on walks by herself instead of being on her phone.
“It’s sometimes nice to just have time to yourself and not think about anything,” she said.
Progression this season
Katz and Charles said they’re optimistic Ball can reach her potential and continue to gain confidence. Cheng added he’s looking forward to getting to know her better and continuing to work with her to help her “reach her human potential.”
So far this season, she has started all six games for the Ravens during their regular season and statistically, is the second best performer behind Alyssa Cerino. She recorded 30 points and a team-high 12 rebounds during her performances on Nov. 15 and 17 to earn her award and help her team go 5-1.
Ball said she’s looking forward to nationals, hosted at Carleton this year. As the rest of the season awaits, so does a full slate of games, countless practices, classes and time for her to take her potential to its highest degree and really be in the moment.
Featured image by Tim Austen.
