As kids, we grow up surrounded by the notion that everything happens for a reason—that things are destined and simply out of our hands.
Whether religious or not, these beliefs are reinforced in the Disney films we love and adore. Growing up, I thought Prince Charming was “icky” and “yucko,” but nevertheless, I longed for the day that I too would be swept off my feet.
It wasn’t until I got to high school that the chrysalis shattered. We’re a generation of Cinderellas, and nobody has the slipper.
Now that we’re in college, hook-up culture hasn’t gotten any more chivalrous. From my girlfriends to the social media paradigm surrounding me, I see that our standards when it comes to dating or merely hooking up seem to have lost the respect and enthusiasm of past generations.
Have we just been desensitized to sex? Is sex merely another handshake?
The truth is, sex is what you make of it. The culture we’re brought up in doesn’t teach us how to feel about it, and despite the myths surrounding it, only a few components remain crucial: consent and fun! If it’s not fun, why are we engaging in it?
Here’s when monogamy comes in.
Personally, I never thought commitment was possible or attainable for myself. Now I realize that it’s all in the individual. Why do we girls actively seek the company of those who simply cannot and will not commit to us? This obsession with changing and taming the quintessential “bad boy” is so old news. Why not indulge in someone who actually likes you?
I’m sick of justifying unhealthy relationships as “complicated” rather than seeking something that actually makes me happy.
Whether you’re in a committed relationship or even an open one, honesty is key. Hooking up is fun, but when it comes to finding actual companionship it’s important to consider the partner offering their time.
Let’s face it. Humans sometimes fail at monogamy. Infidelity and affairs happen all the time and we brush them under the rug. Yet, we remain driven to achieve it in the long run. I don’t know why people cheat or why it seems so hard to be with one person. But it is the reality and the truth is that you need to give to take. Invest, be honest and respect one another.
If a dude doesn’t like you from the start, he’ll never like you. That sounds harsh, but isn’t that better than being in denial? It’s liberating to let go of the endless lust for maltreatment and objectification. Fuck mean boys, ladies. Fuck ‘em!
Happiness is rooted in respect and comfort and trust. I, for one, know that now, and I’m never going back.
Image by Lauren Hicks
