( Photo: Christopher King )
Patrick Osland maintains he’s not the jealous type, but even this second-year political science major says he gets a bit rankled by the numerous posts and comments splattered on his girlfriend’s Facebook page.
“If you are to comment on a photo [of my girlfriend], you are forced to reply under the ex-boyfriends comments — about how happy he was they saw each other last night and how cute she has become,” states Osland, “which is always a nice start to your day.”
Since its 2004 inception, Facebook has quickly become the most popular social networking site, offering easy-to-use profile pages and allowing users to post photos, comment on each other’s walls and even send instant messages. Unmistakably, it has transformed the way people interact, providing a host of issues for users engaged in relationships in the Facebook era.
Osland finds Facebook, with its ability to broadcast its users’ most intimate details complete with photographic evidence to a global audience, difficult to endure. The urge to spy on, or in Facebook lingo “creep,” on girlfriends and rivals has become near impossible for the Carleton student to resist.
“With the invention of Facebook, it provided much deeper access into your significant other’s life,” says Osland. “At any time, you are able to keep track of their interactions with others — including their ex-boyfriends.”
The ability to constantly keep tabs on fellow Facebook friends has devastating effects on some relationships. A host of students admit to Facebook-inspired arguments and breakups as a result of suggestive wall posts or photos, indicating that perhaps Facebook offers too much information.
“Honestly, Facebook has to be the worst thing ever when it comes to having a girlfriend or an ex-girlfriend,” says Algonquin college student Joel Pyper. “When you have a girlfriend it’s the posts from other guys that definitely start fights and when you have an ex-girlfriend this is where it really sucks. You see pictures of her with other guys, you see the posts again, and to be honest, it’s almost like you start to spy on them which is really creepy.”
Other forms of digital socializing, such as Twitter and texting, have made communication faster, but not always better.
Twitter, a social networking and instant messaging site, has made a huge impact on the media, and arguably makes a big splash on relationships. Both Facebook and Twitter are available through some cellphone plans, so they can be accessed anytime, anywhere.
Dr. Anne Bowker, psychology professor at Carleton, warns that a user’s over-dependence on these social-networking sites can compromise face-to-face contact and strain relationships.
“One possible negative effect of having so many online relationships, is that you might be less inclined to interact with others, face to face,” she says. “Certain first-year students might be less likely to integrate into campus life, if all their interactions take place with their old friends from high school on Facebook.”
In an interview with Britain’s Sunday Telegraph, British Archbishop Vincent Nichols noted the difficulties of having a relationship in the time of the social networking sites.
Nichols warned that users lose valuable relationship abilities when they interact too much through technology.
"We’re losing social skills, the human interaction skills, how to read a person’s mood, to read their body language, how to be patient until the moment is right to make or press a point,” he told the paper last month. “Too much exclusive use of electronic information dehumanizes what is a very, very important part of community life and living together."
Despite the headaches caused by the social networking site and instant messaging, many people still view them as powerful and useful tools to maintain friendships and interact in a highly-wired world.
“I feel Facebook is a great networking site,” says Pyper. “In my opinion it’s a great way to plan that night out or set up a date.”