Everyone who has been on Tinder knows the feeling.
You meet someone nice. They’re cute, socially acceptable, take you to a cool coffee shop, and by the end of the date, you’re excited to see them again.
Fast forward a few weeks and you’re at a party filled with people you don’t know. Someone comments on how cute you two are together, with the accompanying “How did you meet?”
Cue awkward pause.
Tinder bills itself as a dating app. But as anyone who has had to answer that awkward question can tell you, it has a reputation for sleazy hook-ups and one night stands.
Friends of mine—coincidentally ones in relationships—bemoan Tinder as facilitating the loss of romance, and fostering a “hook-up” culture that degrades true love in favour of anonymous sex.
Speaking from personal experience, it can go both ways. While my one long-term relationship came from a more conventional introduction, I’ve had a few different things come from my Tinder matches—including straight up good sex.
Meeting on Tinder can be a blessing in disguise. The relative anonymity of it makes asking all of those awkward questions easier, and for your match to do the same. One-time hook-ups, friends with benefits, casual dating, and long-term relationships all have a place on Tinder.
It can be a little difficult to navigate at first. For someone as naturally shy as I am, it can be hard to just ask for what you want. But, I found that the more I opened up, the better the results.
I eventually did meet someone, and being up front with them about what I wanted from the beginning made everything smoother—and hotter—when we met in person.
Tinder does facilitate a hook-up culture, but is that really such a bad thing? As a society, we need to re-examine the attitudes that value relationships over mutually beneficial and consensual arrangements.
One of the main criticisms of Tinder is that it’s shallow, more like a game than a way to choose a partner.
But it isn’t all that different from picking someone out of a crowd in a bar. Looks have always factored into our choices, and probably always will. Tinder connects people based on mutual attraction—the same way that bars, shared classes, and coffee shops do. You’re just not making that judgment in person.
It’s about being open to the experience. To those who say Tinder as the end of committed relationships, remember that casual sex existed before online dating, and will continue to exist long after Tinder drops off our cultural radar.
So when your friend introduces their cute new date, don’t just giggle when they answer “Tinder” to the obligatory questions about how they met.
It could be the beginning of something great for them—or maybe just some really good sex.
Join reporter Clarissa Fortin as she speaks to students about the good, the bad, and the ugly of Tinder.
