Dear Ms. President, Mr. Vice-President, and members of the Board of Governors:
Thank you for withholding my money from my student union without my consent.
I was deeply concerned about the amount of personal and civic responsibility that was expected of me as a politically involved member of the student body; what would a political scientist know about these things, after all?
As your accountants indicate, that awful burden of duty, political prudence, and the general burdens of adulthood in a democratic polity can easily be relieved from my shoulders through a recourse to “governance” (a.k.a. anti-political administrative fiat).
The fact that the very decision to opt-out of all these tasking political matters in favour of your surely beneficent despotism was made for me only furthers the ease with which I, and my fellows, can be eased into a peaceful, child-like torpor without the frightening possibility of democratic engagement.
It’s like being 15 again!
As a man of some 32 odd years, let me then thank you for forcing me to relive the delightful experience of my high-school years.
I assure you, I take no offense at your suggestion that I lack the maturity to contend with the matters of the political bodies of which I am a member.
I’m sure thousands of my compatriots are similarly enthused with delight at your identical assessment of their respective personalities.
—Colin Cordner,
first-year PhD in political science