On Nov. 10, the Charlatan hosted a no-bars panel discussion that allowed guys and girls to ask the opposite sex anything they’ve ever wanted to ask. Dating, one-night stands, appearance: no question was off limits.
Fact: Relationships are tricky. Dating can be complicated since the uncertainties are endless. Does he really like me? Why isn’t he asking me out? What if he’s not interested? What if. . . ?
Ladies, it’s time to take a deep breath and let go of the “what ifs.” Guys want relationships with girls who are confident. The panelists said girls with strong personalities and intelligence are the ones they are most interested in. A girl who makes them laugh and can be herself is more attractive than a girl who looks like Barbie. They agreed that when a girl plays dumb it is a turnoff because it seems like she doesn’t have any self-confidence.
Let’s not kid ourselves though. Appearance does have some pull. Guys check girls out all the time. It’s just a split second look, but their first impression of you will be physical. The boys said that wearing too much make-up, showing too much skin and wearing clothes that are way too tight makes them think you’re easy (unless that’s what you were going for). Also, wearing too much perfume is a deal-breaker.
“If I’m sitting across from a girl and I can smell her perfume, I’m not going to want to get any closer,” said one guy. Many girls said it can be hard to tell who should ask who out, who should pay and who should make the first move. The traditional gender barriers don’t really exist anymore.
One participant said there is usually one person in the relationship that is more assertive. If this happens to be you, so be it. Part of the dating package is being flexible. One girl said that if the date is going well, the guy should pay. However, she also said it’s a good idea for you to be willing to pay at least your half just in case. As for who makes the first move and what it entails, just “roll with it.”
If you’re really stressed about whether or not to date someone, keep it casual. Start by going for coffee. You don’t have to worry about who should pay and it gives you a chance to have a conversation. It’s a great way to see if there is chemistry before you lock down a more formal date.
Chemistry is a huge part of a relationship. Without a spark, there will be nothing to hold the relationship together. Guys also said “a lack of chemistry in the bedroom is a deal-breaker.” Still, if you’re looking for a lasting relationship and not a one-night stand, you probably don’t want the foundation of the relationship to be sex.
Guys said they want their partner to be down to earth and easy to communicate with. Every relationship evolves at a different pace depending upon the individuals involved. Be willing to trust yourself and to make mistakes. As with most things in life, dating gets easier with experience.