On March 15, 8,000 people gathered at Scotiabank Place to watch the Carleton Ravens win their sixth national championship in seven years. Normally, 8,000 people huddled in one place to watch a college basketball game would be boisterous and impressive, but the giant arena’s three levels dwarfed the crowd and crushed its energy.
Girl: Don’t eat that, it looks like plastic Styrofoam.
Guy: I happen to like plastic Styrofoam.
Girl: Well, I like raccoons but I wouldn’t shove them down my throat.
Girl 1: Just because you’ve had sex more times than me doesn’t mean you’re my elder, it just means you’re a frickin’ whore!
Girl 2: Cucumber and sperm are so different.
Hey Voicebox. I just want to tell you that Seamus Wolfe just waited on my table at 1848. And you know what? Brittany Smyth would never do a single day of work for any student. Ever. I just wanna say that and you should know that if you don’t tip the bartender, Michael Jackson touches another child. That’s important. OK. Aight [HI VOICEBOX] and hope you have a great St. Patty’s Day. Good night.