Sex blog: You should go and love yourself

Note: This blog post was written by an author who identifies as female. Not all tips may be applicable to all people.

While it’s great to acknowledge that the relationships we make with others are important and can be some of the best parts of life, our relationships with ourselves also deserve our respect and attention. So maybe this year, try being the good kind of selfish: think about what you need.

We need things emotionally and physically, but let’s start with those physical needs: take some time, alone, to–cough, cough–masturbate. Now all jokes aside it’s a good way to release some tension and find a happy and calm space. It also releases endorphins which make you feel great.

Physical self-love also helps your emotional wellbeing. This form of self-care helps build confidence, a positive body image, and a strong sense of self-worth. Masturbation is a great way to remind yourself that you are desirable because if you think you are desirable and exude that energy, when the time comes to share it, others will see it too.

Now there are different ways of making you feel good. It could be taking some quiet time with your favourite toy, but let’s be real, sex toys are damn expensive. Here are a few other options to make me-time more pleasurable:

  • Never underestimate the power of your faucet! Try lying down in the bath and let that steady stream of water do its thing. It can work wonders. If you have a removable shower head, that’s even better because you can work with the angles of your body.
  • If you know your body well you can always go old fashioned and leave it up to the power of your fingers. Maybe try to switch arms every once in awhile to even out those muscles though.
  • Try romancing yourself with a warm bath surrounded by scented candles, romantic music, and maybe add some essential oils to the water to relax your mind and body.
  • Curl up in bed or on the couch with your favourite cheesy romance movie and lose yourself in someone else’s love story. It may help expand your imagination. Don’t forget to add your favourite movie snacks to complete the perfect night.

Most important of all, do what makes you happy. You deserve the best romance possible, and if it’s not happening with someone else, make it happen for yourself.

– Photo by Angela Tilley